I have been told by many that I have the patience of a saint. I’ll let you in on a secret, it isn’t patience. It is simply one of the most profound strategies for setting boundaries that I’ve ever learned.
I learned this strategy in one of my favorite stories about the Buddha. It was said that the Buddha was a man possessed by an unshakable serenity. He was filled with peace, joy and compassion that radiated from him.
There was another man, one filled with anger, resentment and hurt. He heard of the Buddha and believed he could find the chink in the Buddha’s so called unshakable serenity and so he sought the Buddha out.
When the man found the Buddha he proceeded to mock him, curse him and throw every insult imaginable in a effort to break him. Alas, the Buddha smiled and was truly unshakable.
The man continued berading the Buddha until the Buddha gently raised his hand and inquired of the man, “Excuse me sir, may I ask you a question?”
“What?” The man replied angrily.
“If one man offers a friend a gift, and the friend declines to accept it. To who then does the gift belong?” The Buddha asked.
“Well I guess it belongs to the man who offered it,” the man replied.
The Buddha continued, “Well then, if I decline to accept the gift of your abuse, does it not then belong to you?”
The man fell silent.
Thanks for being you.
About the Author:
As a cancer survivor, adult with Dyslexia, A.D.D., the father of three sons on the autism spectrum as well as someone who lives on the autism spectrum myself, I’ve learned something very critical. That success in life has nothing to do with circumstances but everything to do with strategies.
I’ve learned that Fear and Excitement are the same feeling, the difference being whether you decide the feeling means that “I can’t” or that “I’m ready!”
I’ve become a master of turning Problems into Possibilities and Obstacles into Opportunities and I’ve learned to teach my clients to do the same thing using what I refer to as “The Effective Factor.” A laser focused ability to make small shifts that create massive results in every area of your life.
I look forward to serving you,
Brian R. King LCSW