I want to address you women out there that are about to get married, engaged, or have that so called “Wonderful Man” in your life. I have some sound advice for you. July 7th marks my 40th year of marriage, so I know a bit about what it’s like to live with someone for a long time. Don’t try to CHANGE your man. Women marry thinking they can change their man. It usually doesn’t work out that way! You can make suggestions, but don’t think they will always receive them!
First off, please don’t NAG your man. Please? I am the Queen of nagging, bugging and bothering. Because of that, I have had a difficult time dealing with myself. I don’t like me, when I nag! . Rule 1, when your man comes home from work! He really doesn’t want to discuss his day. YOU DO, but he doesn’t want to. He’s left his problems at the office door, when he clocked out. YOU, on the other hand never leave any of your problems; I think that is why God created purses!!! We love to carry our burdens around, sharing them with many and all if possible. Instead, try this approach when he enters that door. Tell him how much you missed him, and are so glad he is home. Remember, this post is my advice to you WOMEN, not the Men. They’ll get theirs next week. however, that may mean several Blogs!!!
Hold your thoughts and ideas to yourself. DON’T throw at him how you are thinking of changing the kitchen, or want to discuss issues with the kids. Let him unwind first. Something that I learned about men, came from a Pastor, Marriage Counselor. He explained in simple terms that men have what is called an “Empty Box” in their head. They don’t want it filled with anything. They just need to sit, chill out, watch a sporting event on the TV, or just hang out with his family, and enjoy some peaceful times together. He’s out there slaying the “Immortal Business Dragon”. He knows that when he wakes up in the morning, he is preparing to care for his home and his loved ones. Let HIM BE LADIES! Even if he sits in a dark room.
I can hear you bitching right now and saying to me, “Well, I work too and do the grocery shopping. I take the kids to their events, what about me?” “ZIP IT DORIS”! I’ll deal with YOU on the next blog. For now, you need to sit and read this and understand something that I feel is very important to keep peace in your house. Do you want that? Let your MAN have his Mental BOX EMPTY! Don’t fill it with your issues!
My oldest son is extremely brilliant and intense. When he goes to work, his mind is FULL THROTTLE, pedal to the metal. His mind never shuts off. He carries that over into his personal life with his family, and friends. The music he writes, the sketches he does for some of the band covers, even to the Punk Rock Videos to promote their shows in Chicago. I too can’t turn my mind off. My brilliant doctor recommended that I take 200 mg. of L-Theanine, and 400 mg. of Magnesium Glycinate, before I retire at night. I want my son to take this. I love Bach remedies also, so I purchased for Benjamin a container of Rescue Pastilles, natural stress relief, from Whole Foods. He loves them! Ben has to come home from work, and unplug his Brain, and Empty his Box of daily issues. My husband is the same. He sits in a very dark living room watching Baseball, or the LaPlata Train Station in Missouri, on YouTube with NO sound. He watches the Trains that come through there. I don’t quite understand the thrill of that myself, but I will at times watch with him. Yes, it’s BORING! Later, I go upstairs and turn on my Reality TV shows like “Southern Charm”, LONG LIVE THE SOUTH!!!
The point I want to drive to you is this! Please, let your man have Quiet Time, Alone Time. If you LOVE him, let him be. You go find something else to do. He will respond to you in a much nicer demeanor. You may not struggle as much! Plus, when you have your time together, you’ll be surprised to see that he will open up more to you and want to discuss issues with you. My husband and I are very passionate about Politics. We can talk about that for hours. I was the first woman in the state of Illinois that won with a Write in Vote for a Municipal seat. What is funny, my husband didn’t like attending many of my political events. When I retired from that Alderman position, I introduced my husband. The city folks were rather surprised. They thought that I was a single mom.
Give your man his Down time. Don’t bother him. He knows that there has to be repairs in the house, or the car needs to be looked at. He will get to it when you least expect it, hopefully! We had a tire issue, and I did nag! I pictured myself with a FLAT tire on the Highway! Rather scary thought? Hmmm, maybe I need to learn how to change a tire? One day my husband came home with 4 New Tires. HE did handle it. IN HIS OWN TIME. NOT MINE! Give and take ladies. Pick your battles, and know that you will NOT win everyone. YOU aren’t perfect honey, none of us are! At the age of 67, I realize how really stupid I was when I was younger. That was then, and this is Now! I am not too old to change and you are way too young, NOT TO CHANGE!
About Deni Weigel – Eads.
Deni comes from the Weigel family of Broadcasters, entertainers, singers, performers, Improv enthusiasts, and Columnists in Chicago. I personally was a radio talk show host, Singer, Blogger, Columnist, and Podcast Geek. Nothing more enjoyable to me, is being behind a Microphone. However, what I find most enjoyable, is to Encourage others. I hope you will find comfort, peace, joy, laughter and encouragement in reading my blog. Proverbs 17:22 “A merry heart does good, like medicine”!