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Brian R. King“I think that you have to believe in your destiny; that you will succeed, you will meet a lot of rejection and it is not always a straight path, there will be detours – so enjoy the view.”
– Michael York

What if I suggested that you haven’t been rejected nearly as much as you think you have? That rejection is actually something you set yourself up for most of the time. Let me explain.

We set ourselves up when we make a request and decide in advance that we are somehow owed our preferred answer (usually YES).

We make it even worse for ourselves when we have a ready made story about how awful it would be to hear NO and that the word NO means we’re unworthy, unloved, rejected or some other catastrophic nonsense.

What’s the reality?

The reality is that whenever we ask a question of anyone we typically receive one of three answers: yes, no or maybe (indecision).

So here’s the trick I learned that allows me to be rejection proof a large portion of the time. Ready?

Before making a request of someone remind yourself what the three possible answers are that you can receive, then establish the following goal. My goal is to find out which of the three choices they’re going with.

In other words, your goal isn’t to hear YES to protect you from reciting your catastrophic story of what NO means, your goal is simply to learn what their decision is.

This can be useful when asking someone on a date, asking for a favor or working in sales. As much as you may believe that you’re in the convincing business and need to win people over to the YES position, the fact of the matter is that the decision is theirs and the sooner you learn to accept it, respect it and move on the faster you can find the one who will give you the YES you’re looking for.

Now run out and collect some decisions. The one you want is out there somewhere and its your job to find out who has it.

Thanks for being you.

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