It takes a community of like-minded people to keep marriages strong.
I have three friends whose husbands came home and said t them “I don’t love you and I have never loved you” and it seemed that the common denominator in each situation was that the men were hanging out with friends that were single. There is nothing wrong with having single friends but if you hang out with them a lot and talk to them about issues you may be having with your spouse often times their response goes something like “That’s why I never got married”. But if you want to have a strong marriage you must surround yourself with other married couples who will support you at staying married.
Many couples today tend to let the busyness of life get in the way of their marriage relationship with either kid’s activities and work schedules but some couples have found that the best way to keep the magic alive in their marriage is to schedule date nights first and all other activities afterward. At the beginning of each month sit down and schedule a date night or day outing just the two of you to visit some of the places that you went to when you dating. Recall the love and closeness you felt when you were together.
One of our favorite places to get away and have fun together is to go to Disneyland. At the gate, there is a sign that says it all.
Think about the magic that existed between you and your true love when you were dating and early on in your marriage and after a couple of years we lose that magic because we let little things come between us. Sometimes it starts with a simple negative thought like why won’t my spouse keep the house clean, I work hard all day and she can’t seem to find the time to clean the house. If you continue to entertain that thought you will build a story around that thought and find evidence to support it, but if you choose to substitute that negative thought with a thought of love and compassion. This will empower you can go to your spouse and talk about what you are feeling and ask how you can support her.
If you find you and your spouse are living separate lives follow these 5 simple steps to regain that magic.
- Forgive yourself and forgive your spouse of all past disagreements
- Acknowledge that you did the best you could with the skills you had at that time.
- Remember all that was good in your relationship and begin to do some of those things again.
- Talk about what each of you would like your relationship to be like.
- Make a new agreement that includes all of the above steps.
If you would like to improve or enhance your marriage you have to make it a daily practice.
Follow the steps above and come back and leave a comment on how it went.
Have a great week!