Have you noticed the various pictures posted around the internet with themes of unconditional acceptance?
Pictures that include statements such as “Accept me exactly the way I am” or “I’m perfect just the way I am.”
Depending on how you read those statements they can be taken to mean at least one of three things:
1. Don’t judge me for how I am
2. Don’t try and change me
3. Don’t ask me to grow
Though I expect many of these images are inspired by the first they are most often emphasized by those asking for the last two.
Please expect more of yourself
When I married my wife Cathy I was excited about the adventure I knew we’d take together. I knew I would become better in every way and I hoped to be such that she’d be comfortable doing the same with me as her husband.
One thing I wanted from Cathy was her acceptance of the person I was but I also wanted her to help me become more, to grow and become the best version of myself. Together we’re accomplishing that in spades.
Growth as a person and as a couple is simply not possible if I require her to accept me exactly as I am and ask nothing more.
I am NOT perfect just as I am because perfection is not an accomplishment it is more of a delusion that prevents you from allowing yourself to be challenged to grow.
Make me better
All of life’s challenges can make us or break us and each one of them helps us grow if we let it.
On one level I don’t so much want to be accepted for who I am. I simply want others to get to know who I am so they can make an informed assessment instead of a rash judgment on little information.
Then I want them to challenge me. Don’t allow me to become complacent, lazy, stagnant or sit still in any way.
Like every living thing we are given this life to grow and not simply to stay as we are.
The acorn needs an opportunity to maximize it’s potential as an oak tree.
Yes, in the beginning it needs to be acknowledged as an acorn and not be judged for not yet being an oak tree.
But at no time should it be told “stay exactly as you are, don’t change a thing.” Instead it MUST be encouraged to “show me what you’ve got.”
Thanks For Being You.
Brian R King
As a cancer survivor, adult with Dyslexia, A.D.D., the father of three sons on the autism spectrum as well as someone who lives on the autism spectrum myself, I’ve learned something very critical. That success in life has nothing to do with circumstances but everything to do with strategies.
I’ve learned that Fear and Excitement are the same feeling, the difference being whether you decide the feeling means that “I can’t” or that “I’m ready!”
I’ve become a master of turning Problems into Possibilities and Obstacles into Opportunities and I’ve learned to teach my clients to do the same thing using what I refer to as “The Effective Factor.” A laser focused ability to make small shifts that create massive results in every area of your life.
I look forward to serving you,
Brian R. King LCSW
630-778-3447
http://BrianRaymondKing.com