Are you tired of worrying about the end of the world? Do you wonder what apocalypse is lurking around the next corner?
According to Norse mythology, on February 22, Ragnarok (the Viking apocalypse), will occur when the god Odin is killed. If you’re not a Viking don’t think you can relax. It affects everybody.
Reverend John Hagee of the Cornerstone Church agrees that 2014 will be the year. He doesn’t talk about the whole Odin thing. Instead, he claims that four blood moons throughout 2014 represent prophecies signaling the end of the world.
Obviously it’s time to stop losing sleep over apocalyptic predictions that are out of your control. I have the perfect solution – Apocalypse Insurance (AI). (Come on – do you think this would work with real intelligence?)
For the low price of $30 a month you can qualify for AI and rest assured that if there’s an apocalypse, your family will be taken care of. That’s less than a dollar a day. Isn’t your family worth it? Aren’t you worth it?
The beauty of AI is that it doesn’t matter if you’re rich or have 10 kids. The apocalypse won’t discriminate based on prosperity or family size, and neither will I.
If the apocalypse doesn’t happen? Don’t worry. You won’t have to go through the hassle of requalifying all over again. As long as you make your monthly payments your AI will remain in full force.
Stop worrying about the next apocalypse. AI will keep track of them for you and I’ll probably make fun of them in this blog.
Rest easy from this point forward. Buy your AI today before it’s too late.
Remember the next apocalypse is right around the corner! Will you be ready?
May the farce be with you!
Your IFF,
Pam
Has the Apocalypse already happened?