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McDonald’s reported they’re experiencing declining profits. They said the drop is partly due to bad weather.

Bum luck. McDonald’s must be in terrible locations compared to competitors because profits have increased for rivals Burger King, Sonic, and Yum! Brands (KFC, Pizza Hut & Taco Bell).

Of course other contributing factors include “challenging industry dynamics”. I interpret that to mean the actual product – i.e., the food. To quote financial analyst Lynn Collier: “Its competitors have gotten better, but McDonald’s has stayed the same.”

So how does McDonald’s respond?

They’re giving Ronald McDonald a makeover.

CEO Don Thompson said they want to reconnect with customers and remain modern and relevant. Ronald’s new look consists of cargo pants and a vest. For special occasions, he’ll sport a “whimsical new red blazer” and a special bowtie. The description alone demonstrates McDonald’s success at becoming modern and relevant.

The CIA (Clowns International of America) must be thrilled with this turn of events. Their membership is plummeting to such an extent that a clown shortage is predicted.

They say the decline is due in part to kids’ diminishing interest in clowns. It seems they aren’t modern or relevant.

Clowns aren’t cool anymore but Ronald McDonald is going to change all that. I’m sure he’ll also bring McDonald’s back to profitability.

After all, there’s nothing creepy about a clown…

May the farce be with you!

Your IFF,


Ronald's Old Look

Ronald’s Old Look

Ronald's New Look

Ronald’s New Look


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