A colleague of mine (Sarah Victory) once said, “I think 10% of the people on the planet were put here just to be offended.”
Its amazing how many of my fellow human beings seem to walk around looking for their buttons to be pushed.
Do you know anyone like this?
I know fewer and fewer of them as I exercise my ability to choose to keep my distance.
The fact is that choosing to be offended is often mistaken by people as an act of empowerment. “I found that remark to be offensive and I demand an apology.”
The reality is that being offended is simply another reactive experience of life. It is the reaction of someone walking through life with the belief that their point of view is so special that it makes sense that others would agree with it.
When others don’t, the reaction is SHOCK. “How dare you?” “Well I never.” And so on.
There was a time in my life when exposure to an idea outside my comfort zone might as well have been a declaration of war upon my self declared moral authority. Its quite easy to spot those who have a similar reaction today.
What I eventually came to learn was what a slave I’d become to an inflexible ideology of “I’m right because I’m right.” I’d made many decisions in my life that were so inflexible that I’d come to reject any opportunity to reflect upon them.
Times change, people change, people evolve and grow through the experience of new insights, new ideas and the opportunity to refine and reflect upon the decisions they’ve made about the world and their place in it.
Its not to say that reflection requires that you change your thinking, simply that you examine it in light of new information to be sure it still holds true for you and for good reason.
The reason being that it continues to produce the results in life that you want for yourself and those you love.
Its unfortunate to stick with thinking you’ve always had and insist on having simply because its familiar. Some of this thinking can become like an old pair of underwear you refuse to change simply because they feel so familiar to you. Get the point?
I don’t have to agree with every new idea I’m exposed to, and there are many values such as kindness, compassion and manners that stand the test of time.
So I enjoy the opportunities to reflect upon them, refine them, strengthen or replace them.
Its a hell of a lot more fulfilling than being offended by them.
Thanks for being you.
Brian R King
As a cancer survivor, adult with Dyslexia, A.D.D., the father of three sons on the autism spectrum as well as someone who lives on the autism spectrum myself, I’ve learned something very critical. That success in life has nothing to do with circumstances but everything to do with strategies.
I’ve learned that Fear and Excitement are the same feeling, the difference being whether you decide the feeling means that “I can’t” or that “I’m ready!”
I’ve become a master of turning Problems into Possibilities and Obstacles into Opportunities and I’ve learned to teach my clients to do the same thing using what I refer to as “The Effective Factor.” A laser focused ability to make small shifts that create massive results in every area of your life.
I look forward to serving you,
Brian R. King LCSW