Brian King, LCSW
“And above all things, never think that you’re not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take you at your own reckoning.”
– Isaac Asimov
I was watching a popular morning news show today which included a segment featuring the winner of the ugliest dog in the world contest.
As I heard them discuss why this years’ winner Walle took the prize, it boiled down to everything the judges determined was wrong with him.
My heart sank when I heard this. Imagine winning a contest because of all the contestants who weren’t good enough you we deemed the best of the worst.
Of course it can be said that the dogs lack the awareness of what is going on around them but this is less about the dogs and more about the people.
Each day I spend with my boys or work with my clients I encounter several opportunities to help someone address and work through a long standing belief that something about them isn’t good enough.
Our not good enough beliefs are the seeds of our anxiety, self-doubt, self-sabotage and every thing else that helps us hold ourselves back. The keys to self-confidence are found in weeding these beliefs out.
My son Zach was watching this segment with me. He recently made a new friend in our neighborhood and I asked him whether upon meeting this boy he asked the boy to describe everything that was wrong with him. “Well No,” Zach replied. His tone suggesting that the question was absurd and of course it was.
If you were to take a close look at your thoughts throughout the day you may be surprised at how much effort you put into classifying, categorizing and otherwise sizing people up. Even more so when you realize that the categories you put people in have nothing to do with what’s right about them, in your eyes.
I’m human, I do it too at times. However in my awareness I can catch it, I can change it, improve upon it and in the end, I have a greater opportunity to see the person in front of me through a more polished lens than the one I previously used.
Thanks for being you.
Brian R. King LCSW is a 25-year cancer survivor, adult with Dyslexia, ADHD, and Asperger’s. He’s also the father of three sons on the autism spectrum. He is known worldwide for his books and highly engaging presentations that teach the power of connection and collaboration. His strategies empower others to overcome their differences so they can build powerful and lasting partnerships. His motto is: We’re all in this together.